Insomniamaniac

I recently took an informal survey of folks in a Facebook autism group that I'm a member of. The responses were unsurprising. What was the question? Did the people in the group struggle with insomnia. The answer was, all of them.

I've dealt with insomnia for a long, long time. I can remember well a night when I was maybe 10 and I just couldn't fall asleep. I tried and tried and tired, but it wasn't happening. That left me with many hours to fill flipping through the pages of Boys' Life magazine and whatever books I had on hand. I don't recall it happening as often throughout high school, perhaps a night here and there and almost certainly every night prior to returning to school following summer vacation.

It's hard! It's 3:29 a.m. as I type this. I really do want to go to sleep, but my brain is too active. Prior to starting this blog entry, I was in bed, but my mind was just going full speed, playing out conversations or just flinging around random images. I'm going to try and stretch out on the couch and clear my head, and maybe...just maybe...I will get drowsy. I've tried all of the various home remedies for insomnia and the suggestions on how one should approach sleep (only use the bedroom for sleep, that sort of thing) but it doesn't seem to matter. The way I feel right now, it doesn't seem like sleep is in the cards for me. I go through this almost every week, a night where I don't sleep at all.

I do have medication that helps me fall asleep, and that might seem like a no brainer, right? The problem is, this medication (Seroquel, which is a powerful anti-psychotic that is used to treat a myriad of conditions) makes my head fuzzy the next day, along with significant next-day drowsiness. It also conks me out from anywhere from eight to 12 hours. It sounds good, to be able to sleep like that. The reality is, I just don't like how I feel the next day. But there's the rub: I'll feel pretty much exactly the same if I don't sleep.

I suspect this is something I will struggle with for my entire life. I suppose there's some comfort in knowing that I'm in good company.

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